One Thing You Need to Give Up When You're a Mom

Part of being a mom is giving things up. You give up things like going to the bathroom alone or a clean house (heaven knows it’s almost impossible to keep a room clean when you have a toddler).

Because being a mom is about service. You are always serving other people before yourself. And when, by some great luck, you do get to take care of yourself first you get hit with mom guilt. And then you feel guilty for giving up something for yourself. It’s a lovely cycle.

But there is one thing that is so important to give up when you become a mom. If you don’t it can affect your child in the long run.

Your negative self-talk needs to stop!

Stopping the negative self-talk.

This is the biggest thing you need to give up when you become a mom.

For me when I first became a mom it was easy because I felt like a superhero. Having a baby makes you feel like you just did this impossible thing. Of course, you’re tired but it’s a different kind of tired, like a sense of accomplishment tired.

At least that’s how it was for me.

After a while though, it got harder. It was so easy to let those nasty words back in. It was easy to look in the mirror and not like the person looking back at you (because having a baby takes a toll on your body).

You start to feel run down and exhausted. That superhero feeling flees and you go back to picking yourself apart, and then those words hang around like a black cloud affecting the rest of your day.

That needs to stop.

Especially now because you have this little person who is watching everything you do. They want to be just like you so if you don’t talk to yourself kindly, they won’t either.

You have to learn to respect yourself not just live with yourself. What that means is you would treat someone differently if you respect them (as in you would take what they say seriously and learn from them), compared to someone who is just there (you don’t listen to what they say or simply not care about them). Why don’t you let that person you respect be you?

It can be hard, there definitely is a learning curve to it. But if you can learn how to respect and love yourself then your kids will grow with that mentality as well and you can raise mentally strong children.

So how do you go about loving and respecting yourself?

The first thing you should know is there are going to be days that you are going to feel like you are going backward and lose all of your progress. BUT KEEP GOING! Don’t give up on it because you are having one of those days.

You never know, the next day you might have that superhero feeling again and sometimes those days are the ones you need to hold on to.

(Okay, Ash stop ranting, get to the good stuff!)

I made it super easy for you by making a list of the things you should do to start your self-love journey. Sign up below and I will send you the list so you don’t have to remember it yourself. Because let’s face it, you already have a million things to remember!

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Self-love checklist

Start your day will affirmations. Tell yourself things like I am enough, I am a good mom, I am grateful, etc. I’ve added more to the check-list. There are even a few places to write in your own affirmations.

Then go eat something nutritious. You want to make sure your kids are getting all of their nutrients so why don’t you do that for yourself? Make a green smoothie or if that’s not your thing avocado toast is so yummy! Just eat something that will give you what you need. Because if we eat food that is good for you, you will feel good.

Move your body! Get those endorphins flowing. You don’t need to go to the gym, it can be as simples as having a dance party in the kitchen with your kids or taking the dog for a walk. The more you sit the more you are going to feel like you’re stuck. And I don’t know about you but if I feel stuck I will tell myself I haven’t accomplished anything and it starts the negative self-talk all over again.

Go outside. Go outside to love myself? YES! Going outside does wonders for your mental health! That sunshine will take those black clouds away and brighten your mindset. And it actually helps boost your creativity. Which leads us to the next point…

Create something for yourself. Don’t let it be for anyone else. It can be as simple as drawing a picture in your sketchbook or as elaborate as making yourself that new sign to go on your wall. Something that you can look at and be proud of.

Now do something for someone else. But make sure you do it out of love. It will give you that warm fuzzy feeling and it will help you love yourself more. If you are nervous about doing something for someone and making it awkward (I am quite familiar with that feeling) do it anonymously.

There are a lot of things you can do to start loving yourself, but this is a great place to start. Let me know how your self-love journey is going or if there is something you do to practice self-love.